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Read the reflection:
We hear much these days of ‘new forms of family’ where any group of adults and children living together are to be called ‘family’ or ‘blended family’, regardless of biological relationship. Whilst this has some positive aspects in terms of everyone being eligible for State benefits and support, there are also subtle negative results if every variation is regarded as equal in terms of a norm to aim for or ideal to promote and give special support to encourage. Today’s reflection includes some of the research published in the book ‘Love and Economics’ by Jennifer Roback Morse. Here is a summary of her findings: The family is irreplaceable not only in the sense that the two parents of a child play a unique role in its life, but also because the very institution of the family has no effective substitute. Morse affirms that the primary role of the family is relational. Clearly, some families carry out this task better than others, but no other institution does this better than the family. The fact that some families fail should not lead us to the conclusion that the family as an institution is merely optional. If we can hold the family together at the individual and personal level, we would have less need for grand schemes to replace the family at a societal level. Morse summarized the findings of a number of studies that document the adverse results of children brought up in single-parent families: poverty; lower educational results; and behavioral problems. The task of raising children is simply too much for a single parent, said Morse. Moreover, other possible variations, such as cohabitation and stepfathers or stepmothers do not provide the same advantages as a family based on the two biological parents of the children. The role of a father is more than just economic. His contribution to the moral development of children is something that society is guilty of largely ignoring. "The real question is not whether men and women are different but how the difference allows each to contribute something unique to the moral development of children," said Morse. Commenting on the sweeping changes in moral norms and sexual habits in the last few decades, Morse noted that the changes unleashed in the 60s and 70s promised happiness and fulfillment through unlimited freedom. With the experience of hindsight we can now conclude that the ability to sustain commitments is a gift that will bring deeper happiness and satisfaction. "A great many adults are now ready to relearn whatever they can about lifelong marriage, for their own benefit as well as for the benefit of their children," she concluded. Freedom has its limits, Morse argued in the concluding chapter of the book. Every generation is not free to redefine the family and its obligations. Some virtues and obligations are indispensable. Break These findings should come as no surprise to us as Catholic Christians. Pope Benedict XVI recently affirmed the importance of the family for society in his message sent to the participants at the 6th World Day of Families meeting held in Mexico City. The Pontiff said the family is a "vital cell of society … an indispensable foundation for society.” "It is in the home where one learns to truly live, to value life and health, liberty and peace, justice and truth, work, concord and respect," said the Pope. A truth valid for all cultures and societies. "Because of its essential role in society, the family has a right to have its proper identity recognized that is not to be confused with other forms of coexistence." As a result Benedict XVI asked that the family based on the marriage of a man and a woman receive a sufficient level of legal, financial and social support. A similar view was expressed last year by Cardinal Seán Brady, archbishop of Armagh and primate of all Ireland. The theme of his speech was: ‘The Family as the Foundation of Society’. I quote: “The family based on marriage as the foundation of society is a truth revealed by God in the Scriptures, but it is also one of the most precious human values. The welfare of marriage and the family are of public interest, and are fundamental to the common good. They are, therefore, entitled to special consideration and care from the state.” “Other relationships whether they are sexual or not, are the result of private interest," he explained. "They do not have the same fundamental relationship to the good of society and to the bringing up of children as the family based on marriage," Cardinal Brady maintained. By asking that the family based on marriage is worthy of support from the state the cardinal clarified that the intention is not to penalize those who have chosen different types of relationships. "It is rather to uphold the principle that the family based on marriage between a man and woman is so intimately connected to the good of society that it is deserving of special care and protection," he said. "The link between a public commitment to life-long marriage, and the stability of the family unit, as well as the distinct role of a mother and father in the generation and education of children, gives marriage a unique and qualitatively different relationship to society than any other form of relationship," Cardinal Brady pointed out. Yes, we need to support and help all those who have experienced any form of family breakdown, but from both a Scriptural and secular perspective the evidence shows that ‘living in a marriage is the best option for children and couples’. |
